Sexual sin and addiction is a problem for men. We recognize that men are most vulnerable when
they are hungry, angry, lonely or tired.
However, it is an issue for women as well. Studies have shown that 7 out of 10 teenage
girls agreed that it would have been easier for them to postpone sexual
activity if they were able to have more open and honest conversations with
their parents. In every woman’s battle
we read that while women are visually stimulated as well, their battle is
typically much more subtle and begins in a heart full of disappointment. It is her disappointment in men,
circumstances, God, life, money, kids and her future that can cause her heart to
wander.
I want to talk about the qualities of those who want to love
others into freedom and forgiveness.
It is a love that doesn’t give up on people.
1 Thessalonians 4:9 Now about brotherly love we do not need
to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other.
10 And in fact, you do love all the brothers throughout Macedonia. Yet we urge
you, brothers, to do so more and more.
Following the strong teaching on holiness and honoring God
with our bodies, Paul brings his message full circle and comes back to the
subject of love. We are called to a
persistent love that doesn’t give up, a love that doesn’t condemn the person,
but loves them into pure holiness and this kind of love takes time, prayer and
devotion. It is a friendship of love
that doesn’t give up. Paul is just as
passionate about us loving each other as he is about living lives of
purity. We see the strong imperative
coming out here in the word being used ‘urge’.
Be persistent, don’t give up. We read in Galatians 6: 9 Let us not become
weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not
give up. 10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people,
especially to those who belong to the family of believers. All too often we give up if we don’t see
results right away.
1 Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love
covers over a multitude of sins. It is
the kind of love that says I know that you are struggling, I realize that this
is an addiction, but we are going to win the battle together. You are not alone. A huge part of the battle is in our own minds
because we believe that we have to go it alone, that if I share what I’m
dealing with that others will think less of me.
This happens because we believe we have to fix the person…”what can I
do, this has to change right away”.
However it is the work of the Holy Spirit to convict of sin,
righteousness and judgement. John
16:8 Sin starts to lose it’s powerful
grip when it is brought out into the light and we confess our sins to each
other. What does James 5:16 state?
It is up to God to bring healing, not you! Every situation is so unique and we need the
leading of the HS here. It is God’s
power to restore. Sometimes as
Christians we are looking for cookie cutter solutions…one size fits all and
they are just not there.
We have seen people freed from sexual sin and find victory
in an evening and for others it has been a continual ongoing battle that they
take to the Lord each day.
Paul is appealing again that they would show this kind of
love.
The only way to openness and trust is when we know that we
are deeply loved. He is really appealing
to the truth that if we love each other well it really can conquer a multitude
of sins.
It is a love that believes in victory
Colossians 2:13,14,15 When you were dead in your sins and in
the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He
forgave us all our sins, 14 having canceled the written code, with its
regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away,
nailing it to the cross. 15 And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he
made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.
We have all read and admired stories of athletes who have
guaranteed victories for their team and then went on to actually accomplish
what they pronounced with their words.
Here’s the truth, Jesus guaranteed victory on the cross for
you. There is no sin that should rule or
dominate over you. Our most decisive
victory took place before we even set our foot into the game. It was done by Jesus
and it broke the power of strongholds.
He did something 2000 years ago before we came into
existence and secured our rescue as well as the transformation that would
result. He did it all for us decisively
without any of our help. So, when we put
our faith in him and His sufficiency for dealing with our sin, we stand in his
righteousness alone. It is His
righteousness that counts not ours.
Don’t miss those last words of the verse, they are crucial
and that is the record of debt that stood against us. He set it aside and nailed it to the cross
and God did that for us in the precious gift of His Son’s sacrifice.
The glorious truth is that God took the record of all your
sins – all your sexual failures that placed you into a suffocating debt to sin
and shame and he didn’t hold them up in front of you and throw them in your
face. No, he placed them into the palm
of His Son’s hand and nailed them to the cross.
We need followers of Jesus who will fight anything that
diminishes the fullness of His presence in our lives. We must
fight with the Holy Spirit’s power against anything that threatens to
replace Jesus as the supreme treasure of our lives. However we are stronger and more resilient
when we fight together and we fight with the truth of His Word and promises for
us.
Do you have a word that you battle the enemy with? Has God given you a Scripture that you do
battle with and proclaim for yourself in victory or for others?
Now if we only see in the cross of Jesus a free ticket to
keep on sinning, then we have yet to understand the price of our victory and we
need to pray to get a fresh reminder of God’s holiness and glory.
Romans 6 Freedom is
not freedom to keep on sinning, but to experience something much more
satisfying.
Often one of the biggest challenges that I have discovered
is that others accept Christ’s forgiveness; however, they still haven’t learned to forgive themselves and so
they hold on to their failure, remind themselves of their sin and mistakes
almost as a way of self-imposing punishment on themselves.
This happens whether subconscious or conscious and is another
area that Satan loves to steal, kill and destroy and again we need to remember
there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive
us our sins.
I had a friend Paul who was struggling with sexual addiction
and we went through the Steps To Freedom by Neil Anderson. Part of our accountability strategy was to
meet weekly as we walked together through ‘Bondage Breaker’ and he learned to:
RUN FAST! as much as is possible and reasonable the sights
and situations that arouse unfitting desire. I say "possible and
reasonable" because some exposure to temptation is inevitable. And I say
"unfitting desire" because not all desires for sex, food, and family
are bad. We know when they are unfitting and unhelpful and on their way to
becoming enslaving. We know our weaknesses and what triggers them. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20
MOVE into a useful
activity away from idleness and other vulnerable behaviors. Lust grows fast in
the place of idleness. Find a good work to do, and do it with all your might.
"Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord"
(Romans 12:11). "Be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of
the Lord" (1 Corinthians 15:58).
Paul was very active in a basketball outreach that we started to reach
out to his peers for Christ.
JUST SAY NO to every lustful thought within five seconds.
And say it with the authority of Jesus Christ. "In the name of Jesus,
NO!" You don't have much more than five seconds. Give it more unopposed
time than that, and it will lodge itself with such force as to be almost
immovable. Say it out loud if you dare. Be tough and warlike. As John Owen
said, "Be killing sin or it will be killing you." Strike fast and
strike hard. "Resist the devil, and he will flee from you" ( James
4:7).
RENEW YOUR MIND Saying
"no" will not suffice. You must move from defense to offense. We have
to move from defense to offense. Attack the promises of sin with the promises
of Christ. The Bible calls lusts "deceitful desires" (Ephesians
4:22). They lie. They promise more than they can deliver. Deceit is defeated by
truth. Ignorance is defeated by knowledge. It must be glorious truth and
beautiful knowledge.
FIX your eyes on the promise and the pleasure of Christ
firmly in your mind until it pushes the other images out. "Fix your eyes
on Jesus" (Hebrews 3:1). Here is where many fail. They give in too soon.
They say, "I tried to push it out, and it didn't work." I ask,
"How long did you try?" How hard did you exert your mind? The mind is
a muscle. You can flex it!
Hold the promise of Christ before your eyes.
Paul has held on to the promise and I can testify to God’s
blessing in his relationship with his wife, Lori Ann and their children.
It is a love that is made complete in restoration.
Galatians 6:1 Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you
who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also
may be tempted. 2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill
the law of Christ.
The call here is to first recognize the fact that “but for
the grace of God, go I”. It is the
realization that I never get to the place where I look at someone trapped in an
addiction and act in pride and say, “that will never happen to me.”
To restore gently means that we go beyond the surface of the
sin to understand what the root causes are.
It has been said that sin is often meeting legitimate needs in
illegitimate ways.
Often we have to trace the cycle of sexual failure in our
own life, identify and forgive those who have sinned against us. This often takes a spiritual believer and/ or
a wise and trusted counsellor who can restore someone to once again
experiencing freedom and wholeness.
For others they look at their failure and think, “well, I’ve
messed up in this area once already, it really doesn’t matter anymore” BUT IT DOES!
Jesus is telling you that you do matter and you do have hope and a
bright future.
Philippians 3:13,14
Forgetting those things that are behind and pressing on to that which is
ahead…
There is also a decision that we need to say, “I’m breaking
the chain” because it has been broken in Jesus.
There are many who have endured sexual abuse as children and often the
chain of abuse is repeated later in life towards others. At some point, we have to say, “ I will not
act or offend in the way that I have been offended’
V2 We are told to carry each other`s burdens
I have read stories and I`m sure you have too of people who
found extraordinary strength in the most desperate of situations. When my brother Edwin slid his motorcycle
under a truck, someone came on the scene to lift the front of the truck so they
were able to free him. He was strong,
but this was amazing. Edwin spoke to me
of how he believed it was an angel that was there that day.
I believe in a God who desires to give us extraordinary
strength to lift up our brothers.
HOPE for the Defeated
Perhaps you have already blown it so badly that you feel
there is no hope for you. It could be that you have burning memories of recent
moral failure.
Possibly it is the feeling that this is a never ending cycle
and you have been here, done that.
I want us to watch this video to bring light to our
understanding because maybe, just maybe you are starving Jesus.
Ask the Holy Spirit to awaken you to a new hunger for the
Person and the Presence of Jesus!
ENJOY a superior satisfaction. Cultivate the capacities for
pleasure in Christ. One reason lust reigns in so many is that Christ has so
little appeal. We default to deceit because we have little delight in Christ.
Don't say, "That's just not me." What steps have you taken to waken
affection for Jesus? Have you fought for joy? Don't be fatalistic. You were
created to treasure Christ with all your heart – more than you treasure sex or
sugar. If you have little taste for Jesus, competing pleasures will triumph.
Plead with God for the satisfaction you don't have: "Satisfy us in the
morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our
days" (Psalm 90:14). Then look, look, look at the most magnificent Person
in the universe until you see him the way he is. John Piper
We don’t have to let the sins of the past control our
future. God loves to wipe our slate
clean and restore the foundation.
Is there any hope for you or must you remained stained and
soiled for life? Certainly there are
painful consequences for sin; however, I have some better news for you. Jesus
has something he wants to say to you. “Rise and walk,” our Lord proclaims to
every broken sinner. “Go and sin no more.” You can’t do a thing to change the past
and it’s a waste of time to try. However, you can do something about the
future. By God’s grace you can be clean and pure from this day forward. You
don’t have live in guilt or fear or shame any longer. Rise and walk, O child of
God. Get up out of the muck and mire of shameful defeat. In the name of Jesus,
rise and walk!
A New Commitment
God, I’m not satisfied with my appetite for Jesus, I know
there is so much more.
I’ll never forget a friend Rhea sharing with me how she
struggled with the party scene and often felt compelled to go and drink. She was a believer, but it really didn’t mean
much to her until one night while hanging over a toilet she cried out to God,
there has to be more than this and God met her right there in her brokenness.
God, may a pure and holy devotion to Jesus outweigh, out
match, out distance any other affection in my life by the power of your
holiness.
As we hunger and thirst after righteousness, I believe God will pour out a love so great
in us…
·
that we will not give up on others
·
that we will believe in victory
·
that we will be made complete in restoration
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