Love That Perseveres!

Persevere in Love!

We are at the halfway point of our vision of a “time and place where love abounds” and my challenge for us today is that we would continue to persevere with a heart of love.

Today we will be revealing the stats from our first survey in December.  A huge thanks to Denise Bittion who took the time to process these results and provided us with an explanation of method and preliminary thoughts.  As we show some of the survey results remember that this is a baseline survey for us.  It is a starting point.  We value it and it reveals our own shortcomings.

Speaking of surveys, I have to admit everyone want to know how they are doing.  It is prudent.  I was just in Old Navy the other day and the sales associate proceeded to tell me if they don’t score higher than an 8 out of 10, it is considered a zero for their store!

As Bryan shared with us as leaders, Proverbs 14:8 states the wisdom of the prudent is to understand our way. 

Read  Romans 12:9-15

The development of this passage is like concentric circles, first it starts with ourselves, then it moves to the church, the local believers and then moves out to the rest of our world.

However for this purpose of tying into our current vision, this morning we are going to look at the four main areas that relate.

Loving leadership, coming prepared to love, openly conveying feelings and an inclusive love.

1. Leadership That Is Loving

Romans 12:9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.

So here we have the beginning of the first love /hate relationship.  I really need to get to the place that when sin is identified in me, I’m not to minimize it or rationalize it or ignore the destructive effects of sinful attitudes and behaviors.

For me the sinful attitude that often crowds out this vision is my lack of focus and ability to pay attention in the moment.  I am so easily distracted and it is an area that I fail in except by the grace God gives me to have a consuming focus with those that God brings along my path.

Be devoted  relates to  the tender affection in healthy families.  We belong to each other not .  There is no place for sibling rivalry in the church.  Our heart attitude must be ‘he or she must increase, and I must decrease’  John 3:30

Also, here in this passage is the reminder of having a “culture of honor” that I spoke about a few weeks ago.  We have to have it.  Leaders serve others. Honor is love’s bonding.

If we cling to the good, the good will cling to us.  “draw near to God and he will draw near to us”

Matthew 20:25 Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 26 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant,

There is joy.

I have been so blessed to see our LB awake with pastors at 6:15am in the home of Katie Franks who serves us coffee and inspires with devotionals. 

I’ve asked Katie to share with us today.

I also see leaders who don’t demand authority, but who deeply respect and value others.

I have watched our leaders serve in love.  Most recently, I watched as Jenn Baas and Kathy Antolick saw the need for fathers to love their daughters and did just that by putting on a ham and roast potato dinner.  They gathered servers and hosts to allow close to 60 fathers have the opportunity to bless their daughters by writing them love letters.

Now while these efforts are not directly a part of Sunday mornings, it was on a Sunday morning that the challenge to pray was given and on a Sunday morning the challenge to love others and show hospitality and that love is flowing in a servant like way.

What is our  goal?  We pray that people will come to know the ultimate act of love in the greatest leader who was a servant, Jesus.  He gave His life as a ransom for us!  He paid the price of the ransom in His own death on the cross.

As it relates to Sunday morning leadership that is loving, here is what we found.  85% of people strongly agree that they feel love from our pastors, Compass teachers, worship music leaders and leadership team.  95% of you also see this as of high importance.

This is something for us to celebrate!

2.  Coming prepared to show others love on Sundays

Romans 12:11Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 

11not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; 12rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, NASB

The word zeal = a willingness to be available, a readiness to minister.  Genuine love doesn’t hide in a closet or protect itself by putting inaccessible fences or barriers around it.

It’s not easy.  Sometimes it can be difficult to stay motivated to sacrificially love especially if there is no recognition or no response.  Remember that we are serving Christ ultimately.

When we start loving other people, we can often get  disappointed because the  responses don’t meet our expectations.  Don’t put unrealistic expecations on what you are going to get out of it or demand instant response.

We need to pray in that situation.

What I appreciated most about Debra Tuttle’s story a few weeks ago is the honest admission of struggling.  There has to be a willingness on our part to take the initiative.  So many people’s natural response is to sit back and wait for someone to come to them and if they don’t , everyone else will know about it!  It is human nature.

It takes effort to also learn to trust others and also learning to be open with each other.  It is hard.

That is why when John started us off this year and told us make your first decision to love not judge, it has stuck.

We believe the answer to this question affects point 3 and 4!

Notice the gap on preparation.

While 87% of our people see this as very important, only 62% really believe that this type of advanced thought and preparation is taking place.

3.  A time and a place to openly convey feelings

Romans 12:15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

Being conceited could easily be communicated by our actions revealing to someone that we don’t have the time of day for them.

Empathy!  Speak words of love and grace.

Humility!  It is not about defending our rights, it is serving the lowly, the people that other’s don’t notice.

John 11:33When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 34“Where have you laid him?” he asked.

“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.

35Jesus wept.

36Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”

Luke 19:41  As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it…because they did not know what would bring them peace.

On the downside, if there are no tears here on a Sunday morning, then what are we doing here?  Now, I’m not saying that it is all tears of burden bearing because there are tears of joy.  Showing genuine emotion because of someone else’s journey of faith is part of being a loving group of people.

Matthew 18:2He called a little child and had him stand among them. 3And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

5“And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.

82% believe openly conveying feelings is important…only  58% are sensing that this is taking place.

I really appreciate the time that our ushers and greeters have taken to notice everyone that comes in.  They have the heart to welcome, to make you feel at home and know that you are loved and appreciated.  However, our survey shows that we still have a long way to go here.

4.  A time and a place to be inclusive    

Romans 12:13  Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

As it has been said in this series, “have a hospitality mentality”  This is love’s investment portfolio!  There needs to be a real place of generosity.  We need to be open hearted and open handed.

We have work to do!    We are looking at questions that answer , “are we doing it and are we experiencing it?”

It’s being ready to open your heart, your wallet, your fridge!

As it relates to being inclusive,  89% see this as important , but only 57% see this type of inclusive love.

It showed up most in one question on whether people feel confident that when they invite someone to church, they will feel welcomed.  90% said it was important, but only 49% said they strongly agree that this could happen here.

What is the most attractive thing that a new person would want to experience? 

We’ve got over 150 open ended comments…here are some after the survey has been taken

·       

  I appreciate the fact that I can see the priority of this church is a focus on people over facilities.

·         I love that this church is seeking to be relevant to those who are searching

·         I appreciate the fact that this church is focused on making a difference in the community.

·         It’s good.  It is showing us that we need to move more out of comfort zones.

·         One person recommending that we come committed to sitting in a different seat when we arrive for our services.

·         I love how you allow for interaction.  Everything that I do is scripted and planned and you take the risk to open it and see what God is saying to all of us.

Here are a few challenges from the SURVEY

•          Make room for NEW people to use their talents
•           It’s a welcoming and honest place
•          Friendly, informal, community minded
•            I am not involved myself enough – realize I need to repoent
•              Recently started coming and have felt very welcome

·         I truly believe we are going down the path God wants for this body of believers

#1 People sense we are succeeding at being welcoming, friendly and loving.

#2 We need to seek out those we don’t know.

#3 There is a desire to serve those in need.

As pastors we were here just over a week ago and spend the day in prayer and visioning.  I am thrilled about what God has already revealed to us about the next vision and where He is leading us and calling us to go.  I ask that you would also commit the vision and mission of our church to prayer.

The Takeaway:

Remember Our Ebenezer – God has brought us this far.  It’s a marker, it’s a stone of remembrance.  Let’s mark this spot, but let’s not be satisfied, there is more ground to cover, more opportunities to love, to care, to bear with each other.  Persevere in LOVE.

Homework

Sunday CELEBRATE what God has been doing at Grace.  Give thanks for every act of love that you have seen in your own life.

Follow the passage of Hebrews 10:19-25 for the rest of the week on perservering in LOVE!

Monday “Boldly ENTER the Throne Room”  Take time to enter into God’s presence and pray about how you can be a person with abounding love.

Hebrews 10:19And so, dear brothers and sisters, we can boldly enter heaven’s Most Holy Place because of the blood of Jesus. 20By his death, Jesus opened a new and life-giving way through the curtain into the Most Holy Place. 

Tuesday SING  Sing or watch one of the following songs from this past Sunday, ie. “Our God”, “Happy Day”, “Rise”, “Forever Reign” on youtube or you own song and overflow with praise.  Hebrews 10:21And since we have a great High Priest who rules over God’s house, 22let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him.

Wednesday CONFESS Take time to confess where you have fallen short of living in His love and claim His forgiveness.  For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ’s blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water. V22bNLT

Thursday MEMORIZE  Hold tightly to God’s promises. Without wavering, let us hold tightly to the hope we say we have, for God can be trusted to keep His promise v23NLT  Memorize this verse or a verse to inspire you to a “time and place where love abounds”.

Friday  THINK “Think of ways to encourage one another to “outbursts of love” and “good deeds” Hebrews 10:24NLT

The word think - think about, ponder, deliberate, meditate, mull over - other people, with this conscious goal: what can I do today so that they will be stirred up to love and to good deeds? Now there is a reason to live and a focus for every day that will never be boring. Every day is new and different. People change. Their circumstances change. You change. But the call remains the same.  Be thinking of a specific way that you can be an inspiration.  Make the aim of your life to consider others - study them, know them, figure them out - to the end that you stimulate them to love and good deeds.

Saturday  MEET  Keep meeting each other every week!  Remember there is so much more than just showing up at church on Sunday.  Come with a sense of anticipation of the people that God wants you to meet tomorrow and what He may have for them through you! Hebrews 10:25 And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.

Bear With One Another

How many of you have been disappointed by somebody at church?

Bear With Each Other….how to deal with difficult people!   Colossians 3:12-17.

Now you hear that title and  maybe you are picturing than this is gritting your teeth or biting your tongue…  ‘grin and bear it’  that somehow we just gotta dig down deep on this one and muster it up.

N.T. Wright shares on this very theme in his book, Simply Christian,

We are made for each other.  Yet making relationships work, let alone making them flourish is often remarkably difficult…there are many times when we are tempted to slam the door and stomp off into the night by ourselves... We all know we belong in relationships, but we can’t quite work out how to get them right.

I knew of one couple in a previous church that made the decision to not become members  there because they had been members of another church prior to that and didn’t like the way that decisions were made.  So, their answer to the situation was, ‘don’t get involved again.’  However we were designed to get involved in the lives of others, to care, to bless, to participate and the church needs all of us.

What does the word ‘bear’ mean?

It means to protect, a protective covering like a roof over a house, to shield, to have another’s person’s back, to be in their corner.  I guard and take seriously my brother or sister’s honor.

We are the ones who are called to bring the protective covering around them because they are a loved child of God.

Start with Yourself v12

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

Clothe yourself…start here!  COMPASSION says I’ve been there or I’m there right now…

Have you ever asked the question, Why does this person bug me or why do they get under my skin so much? 

Often the thing that frustrates us most about others is something that we see or have seen in ourselves.

Matthew 7:3  Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  The first place to begin is ourselves

If they don’t have a filter, you will notice it especially if you have struggled with having a filter when speaking with others.

It has been said that you will have the most issues with your child that is most like you…it will bug you.  So, if your child struggles with jealousy and you have, you are going to be even more aware of it.

So, choose to be compassionate in that very situation.  Compassion is translated tender hearted mercies in the NLT.

KINDNESS discovers ways to show affirmation….

What we affirm in others is often what we also place high value on.   It takes an extra step for us to see and understand what another person places value on and appreciate that.

HUMILITY

Choose to go to that person in humility and say this is how you make me feel when.

Humility is also learning how to receive criticism from others

GENTLENESS doesn’t react, it responds!

How do you react?  It has been said we are either a hedgehog or a rhino when it comes to dealing with conflict.  I want to focus on learning how to respond.

If we choose to go to that person and tell them you always or you never…  with that accusatory tone, it will rarely go down well if at all. 

Also, remember this when you are saying sorry, never  apologize with a BUT.  Get your BUT out of there.  The problem is that we want to be right and it’s our PRIDE that gets in the way.

PATIENCE is learning to be on God’s timetable, not my timetable…

We are not to play the Holy Spirit in someone else’s life.  We need God to show us what is first lacking in our own lives.

As I was discussing the message with one of the pastors this week, he shared how he couldn’t participate in breaking of bread because he knew that he had to make something right with another member of the congregation.

God always brings it back to yourself…do you ever hear God say, “yeah, go, get them and you should say this to them.  Go get him tiger!  No.  God wants to rid of us our pride.

When you are dealing with criticism, here is what you need to do.

Take it to God and ask him what is true, what isn’t true.  Often people will say things out of anger, but you don’t dismiss all of it.  You can even ask God to sift it… you may hate what they said….just listen to what God is telling you.  God is very personal and takes the situation back to you.

You maybe don’t feel worthy, but remember this too!  It is not about who you are, it is whose you are!

Clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

We need to care more about what He thinks than how others perceive us.  We don’t have to have the last word, we don’t always have to be right.

Think about your relationship with your spouse.  If there is always one of you that is apologizing all the time, saying “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” often the other person should take a hard look at themselves as well.  If this is an ongoing this, it may just be the other person may have the issues, the pride, the demanding nature.

Let’s just give the HS some time to search our hearts and ask Him.

Answer the following quietly in your own heart...

1.        Do you always have to convince people of your position on a subject

2.       Do you use sarcasm to get your point across?

3.       Do you make others feel small?

If we really repent and get this right, this can change the atmosphere in our homes,

Learn to see the situation from their perspective.  You may have had no intention of hurting them.

Take The High Road v13-15  (without telling people that you are)

In most difficult situations with others, our tendency is to either isolate or attack and wound.

Our first reaction is to not to get involved with them again and so we choose to isolate ourselves. 

We withdraw and avoid them.

I love the quote I came across the other day… When in doubt, take the high road…there’s less traffic.

Romans 12:10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love, honor one another above yourselves.

I know some people who have held on to what was done to them for years and it shows especially in a church situation.  It eats them up and makes them sick and toxic.

V13 We are called to BEAR with each other….it isn’t easy and it doesn’t come naturally.

This is really the practical answer of how do we act kindly, how do we act humbly…It is by learning to bear with each other.

And just in case you think they don’t deserve your forgiveness , remember neither do we, but Jesus set the standard…Forgive as the Lord forgave you!

Sometimes we find it difficult to forgive other Christians because we expect more of them. Is this ever true of you?

Romans 12:14 goes on to tell us to even bless those who persecute you!  WOW, because it is hard enough dealing with people who hurt you let alone persecute you…   It is a present imperative verb…constantly be blessing others. The word blessing comes from  - our word eulogy. So, what would you want people to say about you at your funeral? 

Emotionally do you think you feel like doing this?  This is something He is calling us to do for others despite how we might feel about them.

What comes naturally…well talking about someone behind their back, so brag, build them up, speak highly of them…changed the atmosphere.

How do we bless others….we look for ways to speak highly of them in front of them and behind their back!   We don’t entertain conversations that put people down, we put an end to them.

We so often want to preach to them, but it is better to speak words of kindness.  Give an opportunity for the Holy Spirit to convict them.

If you choose to go against what you are feeling and bless them, the situation will be transformed.  

Practically…

Let’s look at some of the most picked on people…You don’t like the worship style…it was too loud, it was too quiet…too much feedback.  We need to focus on the fact that the worship leader puts so much time and effort into it, they are here at 8am, they come with a heart of worship.  Before you criticize the Compass teachers, they don’t get paid to do this either. They are showing love to our kids and they may already be dealing with kids all week long.

Now, did you notice what our JH class did last week.  They highlighted so many of the forgotten people who serve behind the scenes at church.   They focused on blessing others and specifically many of those who serve behind the scenes at Grace.  I want this attitude to spill over in our church

‘Love binds them all together in perfect unity’

Now living in perfect unity is the goal of this love we are pursuing in this place.  However, it  doesn’t mean that we all think the same way or be passionate about the same thing

I know that I’m not a musician or have a great musical ear, but when it sounds amazing, even my untrained ear knows it.

It is this idea that there is the combination of notes like in an orchestra that when they come together, they make this beautiful  complimentary sound.  We are family and we are representative of who He is.

I pray that a big part of this vision would be that this church would have a culture of honor.  I long for this place to be somewhere that we all have the freedom to be who God created us to be!   We don’t have to prove ourselves.  Our worth has been proved by Jesus Christ on the cross and that makes everyone so worthwhile to get to know, to listen to their story!

Be called to peace.

Fix your eyes on his mercy and be thankful… These ‘hard to love’ people are the object of God’s mercy; however they need to be the object of our mercy.

The ground is even at the foot of the cross.  Go back here and kneel right here.  Have mercy on me God

Include Christ’s perspective in every conversation and in every situation v16,17

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly… as you

1.       Teach and admonish one another

The Bible is the word of life… The Bible says that the power of life and death is in the tongue. Proverbs 18:21

When we speak the Word of God to others we can speak ‘life’!

Notice what God is doing in that person, pay attention to their gifts, their abilities and AFFIRM them.

Share God’s promises, their purpose, their destiny. 

So this week the staff was at the Michael House and we had a chance to see Katie Bietz and Annica Napier in a very strategic place reaching out in love to women in need of a stable home to start their journey as a single mom.  Annica is the champion for our partnership with Beginnings and Michael House.

This is what It could look like…

I believe that God has placed you both for such a time as this and that He has given you everything you need in Christ Jesus to give these ladies love.  I see in both in you a heart of mercy and I want to affirm that today.  I also believe that God is going to do great things through both of you as you show care and share your lives with those the He brings to you.

The Takeaway

Commit to praying for someone for 30 days before you approach them about something that you see in them…however, if it is you that needs to do the confessing, don’t delay, reach out in love.