One of the things we have been teaching on at the Manor is “Not
Wasting Our Mistakes!’ I had fun the
other week riding my Swing Bike in the Manor. I bought that bike back in 1981 along with my
brother Edwin, who got an orange one. Those bikes raised our “coolness” factor
for sure. However, I failed a lot in the
process of figuring this bike out, but I was so glad I stuck with it. Pop a wheelies and back wheels circles got me to the place where
I was the toast of McKenzie-Smith Middle School back in the day!
Now, here’s what we need to absolutely know about
mistakes. The enemy wants to condemn you
for your mistakes; our heavenly Dad wants to convict us through the Holy
Spirit.
What’s the difference?
Condemnation is all about feeling judged, feeling guilty,
feeling like you will always be the way you are…past performance determines
future behavior and messages like that. Condemnation
also says “I will always be stuck, I will never get out of this pit. (notice the absolutes?) I am a failure, a repeat offender, I will
never change. Condemnation is always
being reminded of past failures and how you will never measure up, never be
good enough…you suck!
Therefore, there is
now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ
Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you[a] free from the law of
sin and death. Romans 8:1,2
And when he comes, he
will convict the world of its sin, and of God's righteousness, and of the
coming judgment. John 16:8
Conviction is the Holy Spirit showing you where you’ve gone
and enabling you to where you need to be.
Conviction corrects the failure and reminds you that God’s grace is
available every moment of every day.
You don’t have to let your past define you. God does not hold your past against you. It is forgiven in Jesus’ name. You don’t have to perpetuate negative
behaviors or cycles of sin in your family.
These patterns can be broken, the
chains of generational ties can stop with you!
One of my favorite verses in dealing with the past and
moving forward is in Philippians 3
13 No, dear brothers
and sisters, I have not achieved it,[a] but I focus on this one thing:
Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to
reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through
Christ Jesus, is calling us.
Joyce Meyers makes this so practical when she writes:
Just because your
coworkers are all gossiping about a certain situation doesn’t mean you have to
fall into the same trap. Say: “Lord, I see how they talk and I also notice they
are never joyful. I’m going to learn
from that and refuse to participate.
With Your help, I’m going to resist that temptation.”
Just because your
friends spend their days stressed out and worried about their lives doesn’t
mean that you have to do the same thing.
Say: “ Lord, I see the damage that stress and worry can bring. I know Your presence brings peace and
joy. With Your help, I refuse to live
worried and stressed about situations beyond my control.”
Manor Church People
I want to devote the rest of this blog to sharing Tiara’s story. She has been
attending Church at the Manor since our first Sunday on April 20th
2014 to present and recently shared her testimony at the Princess Ball a
At the age of two things things began to unravel in her life
as her father began to sexually assault Tiara and she went through horrific
abuse in her early years. One thing that
went through her mind was, “What did I do to deserve this?” and “Maybe if I tried a little harder it
would stop.”
She was four years old when her life drastically changed
forever. It was the night of the Super Bowl and she wanted to play. She had no interest in going to bed and was
being disruptive. An abusive uncle who
was drunk and high at the time picked her up and shook her as hard as he could
and then dropped her to the ground. In the process her spine was compressed and
her spinal cord was separated and as a result she became a paraplegic.
A year later her mom decided to place her in a bathtub of
scalding hot water because she just couldn’t cope and care for her and her
siblings. As a result she not only had
to deal with her physical limitations, she now also struggled with depression and
dealing with why she should even live on this earth.
Family and Children Services stepped in when she was six and
removed her from her home. While this
can be a very negative experience of being bounced from home to home, thankfully
for Tiara it wasn’t. She met a wonderful
mother and father who are still a part of her life. It was in this home that she finally got
care through her night terrors and where she had three meals a day and could
ask for me if still hungry. For the first time she felt love that she had
never experienced before. It was here on
a hobby farm that she could pick up eggs from the hens and pick dandelion
bouquets for her new family. She was even allowed to bring the eggs into her
own room too!
One of the things that she was told by others was that she
would never be able to live on her own.
She wasn’t capable or smart enough to do this. Well, at the age of nineteen she moved out
and started living on her own. She
received money because of her disability, but still it was hard to make ends
meet. At the age of 21, she gave birth
to a son and even that was something she was told that would never happen. She was
told she would never be able to carry to full term because of her condition and
if the child was born, he would have many issues. Tiara’s prayers to God during this time were
answered as she asked God to give her a sign that He loved her. She had a healthy son. He is
eighteen now and has taught her so much about what perseverance is and how to
overcome sadness and fear.
Tiara’s life hasn’t always been hard, she has been able to
water ski, play wheel chair basketball and if her future husband ever has a
chance to see her play again, he may have a heart attack because they play
rough and they don’t care. She has rock propelled and has been a wheel chair
track athlete. Track has been a major
accomplishment for her. In 1996, she was
a provincial gold medallist. She was the
one with one hand in front of the other saying to herself, “I think I can, I
think I can!” When she crossed the
finished line, she told herself that she was the little engine that could! Quitting in not in her vocabulary.
She has also also had many moments of weakness. In 2004,
Tiara ended up breaking the law and realized what a huge disappointment
that was. However, she knew that even
though this happened, she still could call on the mom and dad who raised
her. While sobbing on the phone telling
her mom that she pleaded guilty to the charges, her mother said, “I still love
you.” The strength that she had to say those words to her have really inspired
Tiara to get through many difficult times in her life.
She also spent almost a year at Parkview Motel where many
people struggle and where she pretty much was overdosing on pain killers every
single day. At one point she tried to
take her life because she was so low and didn’t have a hope in the world. “I felt
like I let God down and I had so disappointed my family who loved me. Little did I realize that God had a bigger
plan for me and while I was ready to stumble and fall and give up, He wasn’t.”
After at a bad overdose, she was on a ventilator for five
days. It was a wake-up call and she
realized that she needed to clean up her act. Tiara’s son looked at her and said, “Am I not worth
fighting for?” She had been so wrapped
up in feeling sorry for herself that she forgot how much she was hurting
others. After this, she prayed and
prayed and prayed. She pushed her
wheelchair aside and got down on her hands and knees. She prayed, “God, could you help me find a
home?” I just wanted a place where I
could call home. Shortly after, she met a lady at the Drop In Center who told her
about Sue’s Inn (the Manor Motel). She
wasn’t sure at first because she didn’t think anyone would give her a chance
since she had a record, but Roger, the owner, took a chance on her.
On her journey through Sue’s Inn, she came to Church at the
Manor, heard the story of God’s love and learned that she was worthy. She was never told that she was worthy of
God’s love. Those were hard words to wrap her mind around after living your
whole life wondering if you are good for anything. Tiara shares “I now have people who have faith in me, who stick by me and who have
patience. They push me towards God when
I try to push away and with that I was able to heal. I was able to go back to my uncle and tell
him that I forgive him even though he still told me that he had no regrets.
Tiara was baptized in the parking lot of the Manor in 2014
and we have seen so much growth in her life from the ways that she volunteers
her heart out with the Humane Society of Guelph to pet adoption at Pet Smart,
she glows with the love of Jesus.
Recently she has been sharing her testimony and has spoken with amazing
calm and ease at the Princess Ball to approximately 200 ladies. We see God using her to speak hope into the lives
of others and it is evidenced by how many come up to speak with her afterwards.
Tiara and her precious dog, Tanna, moved out of the Manor
Motel a year ago. She has a two bedroom
apartment that she can truly call home. She
was engaged this fall and will be married in the coming year. ‘Tanna
Banana’ as we affectionately call her by the way is our church mascot! J
Tiara shares, “If you
give God a chance, He can turn your life around like He turned my life around.”
