When You Are Facing Taxing Deadlines!

Tax deadline is upon us all and hopefully you're all good and have it all done...and just maybe, just maybe a refund!  It's never fun to find out that you still have a balance owing, but some things are certain in life and one is that you will pay taxes one way or another.  However, what about when life gets taxing and how do we deal with it?

I know that often I feel like a failure for not following through or when my life gets so full I drop commitments that with all my heart I want to keep.  I wrestle with the pressure I place on myself to perform, to execute, to provide to be a good husband and not just a good husband, but a 'present' husband, a 'present' father.  The expectations and demands of our daily grind can get so easily in the way and then often I fall asleep at the most important times.  I'm tired, exhausted physically and sometimes emotionally.  I don't know the right words to say and I go silent...

I think for me one of my challenges is to easily minimize a situation or avoid it all together. Insert 'avoid confrontation' here.   I would rather give people a better impression of myself, but in doing so I don't live with the honesty that is required for real change.

It is then that I have a decision to make do I listen to my inner critic and allow my failure to push me into staying down on the mat and not trying again or do I hold on to the time I did get it right, the feeling and the reward and allow that to motivate me to start again?

I was reading Matthew 5:4 in the Amplified Version a few days ago as part of the Daily Verse on my YouVersion app.  This verse really jumped off the page for me.

Blessed (forgiven, refreshed by God's grace) are those who mourn (over their sins and repent), for they will be comforted (when the burden of sin is lifted.)

When I read this verse in other versions I really just thought of those who mourn with regard to a sense of loss, whether that be the loss of a loved one, a family member.  I really do believe comfort those people with an amazing sense of His tangible presence; however this expanded look into the verse shows me there is a place for healthy shame, a recognition of when we have failed, missed the mark and fallen terribly short.  I know it's healthy to grieve in the way that I own my failure.  However,  I don't stay there.  I confess my sin to the LORD and I experience forgiveness, freedom and an incredible sense of release.

1 John 1:9

 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

I've been reading "To Be A Man" by Robert Masters and he has some great insight on healthy shame vs unhealthy shame.

• healthy shame is directed at a specific action, but unhealthy shame is directed at the doer of the action
• healthy shame triggers our conscience, but unhealthy shame triggers our inner critic
• healthy shame includes remorse and some degree of atonement for any harm that's been done, unhealthy shame doesn't  (thankfully the ultimate atonement has been done by Jesus on the cross for us)
• healthy shame mobilizes us, but unhealthy shame immobilizes us
• healthy shame opens up our heart after initially closing it, but unhealthy shame closes our hearts and keeps it shut.
• healthy shame features humility; unhealthy shame features humiliation.

My prayer is that this post mobilizes you and me to action that is healthy, strong, confident and moves forward in faith and hope, believing that we were never meant to stay down on the mat! As Robert shares,

disempower your inner critic, the one with a heartless negative self-appraisal,the voice that toxically self-shames. 

Ultimately recognize the voice of the inner critic who comes like a thief only to steal, kill and destroy hope and start listening to the voice of Jesus through the power of the Holy Spirit.  Allow the Spirit of God to wash over you with songs of victory, shouts of praise and declarations of truth.

Remember the power of life and death is in the tongue!  We have to learn to speak His Words of truth over dead situations.

I absolutely just love the song It Is Finished for any and all situations.  Happy Resurrection Celebration!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkxcGLID3Y8&list=RDQkxcGLID3Y8&start_radio=1


Here's the lyrics

The cross is my beginning
The line drawn in the sand
The end of all my striving
Now I am born again
There, Jesus was forsaken
So I will never be
His grace is my salvation
The gift of God, the work of Calvary

It is done, it is finished
Christ has won, He is risen
Grace is here
Love has triumphed over death forever

The cross needs no addition
His mercy is complete
His love is not in question
The Son of God has spoken over me

It is done, it is finished

Christ has won, He is risen
Grace is here

Love has triumphed over death forever

Strongholds bowing to the Savior
Resurrection power over every circumstance
His word stands final and forever
It will not be shaken, He alone has won it all
Strongholds bowing to the Savior
Resurrection power over every circumstance