Monday, June 17, 2013

Grace Awakening

I want to talk to you this morning about a grace awakening.  What is a grace awakening?  It is simply being awakened or experiencing a fresh understanding of the amazing, undeserved, unmerited favor of God in our lives.  We all need to experience it, be empowered by it and extend that grace.  The beauty of it is when someone new comes to your church and says they have experienced it here as someone spoke to me the other week.

When John, Bryan and I were away at the D’Elia’s for a couple days last month, we were struck by the power and enormity of grace and all its facets in 2 Corinthians.  We were also so blessed by a couple of people, Bonnie and Perry who are living examples of beautiful grace.  They run a bed and breakfast in Niagara-On-The-Lake but they also have a cottage that they have also renovated for people to seek time away to refresh their body and spirit.


It’s a vision that we have shared with the LB and some of our ministry leaders as well. 

1.      A new vision for Grace built on a time and place where love abounds

2 Corinthians 9:8 And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed; NASB
We are built for outward flow.
John 17:15 My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. 16 They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. 17 Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. 18 As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. NASB

We are called to be missional.

The Word became flesh and blood and moved into the neighborhood.  John 1:14 The Message
Jesus became flesh and blood to all those around Him.  He was real and went to where the people were.  He lived among them, He cried with them, He prayed for them, He brought healing to their lives.
We are called to the same thing.
We are called to be real with all those around us, to cry, to laugh, to pray for them and with them as the Spirit leads.  We are called to bring healing to the lives around us .

As one LB member shared, God has called me to serve and meet the needs of my boss who is going through a very difficult time.
                                                                                                                       
The statement:  People living everyday grace in our community
Why is ‘grace’ so powerful.  Charles Swindoll in Grace Awakening

Christ died for us on the cross. He was raised from the dead for us at the tomb. When we believed in the Savior’s death and resurrection, we were dipped into the same scene. Our identity was changed. We didn’t feel it, we didn’t see it, we didn’t hear it, but it occurred, never the less. When we came to Christ we were placed into him as his death became ours, his victorious resurrection became ours, his “awakening” to new life became our “awakening”, his powerful walk became our powerful walk. Before we can experience the benefits of all that, we have to know it.  Chuck Swindoll


       Our mandate   - A shift from an internal focus to an outward focus. 
The word internally for us at Grace will always be love and the word externally as we focus looking outward will be grace.

I want to take you to a passage which I believe speaks into our vision and gives us our mandate.
2.      The vision is rooted in the transformation of our community.  Jeremiah 29:4-7; 1 Peter 2:11,12

4This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: 5 “Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. 6 Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. 7 Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.”

So, what was going on here?

Israel as a nation was to represent God’s goodness to the other nations.  They were to be a lighthouse to them, to reveal a nation that followed hard after God, but they were stuck.  They had forgotten their purpose; they had completely forgot where they came from.  They were once slaves in Egypt, they were oppressed and they experienced deliverance, but as soon as they became “self-sufficient” they forgot God and worshipped and ran after other gods.  They were the nation that was oppressing other nations.
Here is the account of the forced labor King Solomon conscripted to build the Lord’s temple… 1 Kings 9:15

In a nutshell, they became all about preserving what they have with their land and possessions instead of a nation that is bent on giving away and blessing those around them. 

So they are stuck and now God must act.  

This very nation was called to be his hands and feet in the world; however they looked just the same as everyone else.   In fact, it was worse…they looked anti-God.

God is looking for people who care about the things that he cares about and he blesses so that justice and righteousness can be upheld. 

Unfortunately at the height of their blessing, Israel misinterpreted everything as entitlement and favoritism.  There  is a word in the Bible for when you have been giving all sorts of blessing, wealth and influence, but completely forget why you were given it in the first place. 
It’s called Exile.
Exile is when you forget who you are; its when you forget your story.  It isn’t just about getting kicked out of a location but it is about of state of your soul.  It’s about when you find yourself as a stranger to the purposes of God.  This is the place from which Jeremiah is speaking to us about.

So what?

Israel as a nation could have just looked at this time  as exiles in a foreign land (“we’re here for a short time…let’s huddle up and protect ourselves and wait for God to get us out of here…whatever you do, don’t make friends with the enemy and don’t get involved in any of their world”)…….. and then, how God actually directed them to live (“you’re going to be here for 70 years, so settle in, get to know people and bless and transform their culture by living among them as God’s people”)

It’s also a place to rediscover your story in a fresh, new way.

Is this just another twist on an OT mandate for a nation or is this for us?

1 Peter 2:11 Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul. 12 Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.

Our real home is heaven, but we have been assigned by God to live in this “Babylon” for the foreseeable future, so settle in, get to know people and live out God’s grace so as to bless and transform the world around us by living as God’s people should live.

How do we start living this out?

Matt Naismith, just recently stepped down as the youth pastor of Lakeside moving into the Ward to begin a church plant to reach out to people there.

The move IN – West Willow Woods – reaching out to another need filled community.  James Bast.


Seek the prosperity of the city we are told in Jeremiah 29.  We are called to  pray for it and extend grace to the people living there.

An action plan for this summer!

·        Open your homes and backyards and be hospitable  - It can be really simple.

The power of invitation is an amazing thing.  Go to your street party and if there isn’t one, make one up!  Last night was our street party and it was the 3rd year in a row for us.  It was a rich delicacy of foods from every continent from samosas to noodles to vegetarian, deep fried from Africa!  We brought pulled pork!

·        Open your hearts and make new friends (name some new ones by end of summer)

     It is because of opportunities like this that I not only know their names, but I now know a number of the names of their children as well.  It’s after midnight and Sharon is still out there having great conversations!

·        Open your hands and do good to people around you

I met some people from Grace as I was out on the garage sale loop with Sharon and one couple said after their neighbourhood garage sale they were having a community BBQ. 

·        Open your mouth (if an opportunity arises) and speak of your faith in Christ

Bonnie D’Elia who I mentioned in the introduction does this with such great ease.  She shared with us how she spoke to the man renovating a meeting area doing renovations at her home.  She said I could just let them do their job or choose to reach out.  So she does and over a meal or a coffee and God is giving her great opportunities to share her faith.

Live your life in such a way that it demands an explanation.   Francis Chan

3.      The vision is intentional in discovering God at work in us for our community  Jeremiah 29:11-13

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
And for most people, the memorizing of this passage ends here.  However, there is something very important and not to be missed….
 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord
We really need to be asking God what are your plans for me today?  Why? Because He already has laid the blueprint out for your day. 
Ephesians 2:8-10….look at what kind of grace v7  incomparable riches of His grace.

You can’t give what you don’t have.  I am praying that the vision today will be a grace awakening in all of us.  I pray that you will experience the incomparable depths and riches of His grace!  May it be just like the song, How He Loves, where grace is an ocean and we are all sinking in its depths!
As opposed to a closed community where we cloister ourselves away, we want to build more intentional relationships in our community.

Let’s recommit ourselves to our neighbours and friends and discover and experience the incomparable riches of His grace.


Thursday, June 13, 2013

Conflict Resolution


What are words that we think of when we hear the word conflict:
War, power,stress, expectations, fear, rejection. 

Rejection is one of the main reasons we choose to avoid conflict.  As I quoted in your bulletin…  You cannot really resolve conflict and at the same time want to please people.  Conflict is not an event, it is a process and so you have to be able to deal with the tension.  Staying underneath the process requires perseverance.  There is no one size fits all formula.    

Your belief about conflict will greatly affect how you engage in it or your lack of engagement. 
Some people might look at conflict in a “mind map” sort of way and see this as  a psychological thing….


(look at slide)
Some of you may look at conflict as more of a personality type of thing and see 4 basic types



I’m going to look at from more of a graph




The negative side of conflict is:

   Competive – I must win at all costs
   Avoid and withdraw – I will not engage and stuff my feelings, beliefs and ideas deep within
A neutral approach to conflict is to accommodate; however if this constantly happens, it eventually leads to bitterness, may damage trust.  When you come the attitude is what do you want now.
Compromise - allows diverse opinion to work together.  Transactional. I do this,you do that.  Might lead to mission confusion, keep something that is working but does not fit the mission
Collaborative - may slow the process down, but is the highest form of resolution.
Conflict does cause tension; however tension is an essential component for our personal growth and maturity.

This morning I want us to look at answering the question   How do we end conflict in a way that glorifies God?

I believe there are three truths that we may need to embrace and it may include all three truths or possibly just one of these truths or a combination.

1.                    We end conflict well when we learn to agree to disagree.  Compromise
2.                    We end conflict well when we confess our sins.  Confess
3.                    We end conflict well when our perspective has changed.  Collaborate

1.       We end conflict well when we learn to agree to disagree.

A case study in conflict resolution.  Acts 13:13; 15:36-41

In Acts 13, Paul and Barnabus are commissioned to go out on a missionary journey to share the good news of Jesus.  They begin with a travelling companion,  John and their first stop is in Cyprus

5When they arrived at Salamis, they proclaimed the word of God in the Jewish synagogues. John was with them as their helper.
Then at their next stop in Pisidian Antioch, we notice this:
13From Paphos, Paul and his companions sailed to Perga in Pamphylia, where John left them to return to Jerusalem.

We pick up the story in Acts 15

36Some time later Paul said to Barnabas, “Let us go back and visit the believers in all the towns where we preached the word of the Lord and see how they are doing.” 37Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, 38but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. 39They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, 40but Paul chose Silas and left, commended by the believers to the grace of the Lord. 41He went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.

Earlier in the series I spoke about Paul’s personality as one who was a planter.  You could also say that he was a A-type personality. He was driven, a much focused man.  When you listen to verses on how he described the Christian’s life, it resonates with perseverance, running the race, laying aside every weight.  1 Corinthians 9:26  He wanted to surround himself with similar type people.

Paul made a judgement call on Mark’s abilities based on his past performance.  You may have heard the saying “past performance determines future behavior”…  well, Paul lived by that.

Enter Barnabus and his name means “son of encouragement”.  I believe he saw something in John Mark that others didn’t see.  He may have seen someone with great potential.  He may have seen someone who needed a second chance.  He may have seen someone who had been written off but he was going to be used of God to bring out the best in him. 

Don’t forget it was Barnabus who was the first person to really vouch for Paul after Ananias initially prayed for Paul to be filled with the HS.

Acts 9: 27But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. He told them how Saul on his journey had seen the Lord and that the Lord had spoken to him, and how in Damascus he had preached fearlessly in the name of Jesus.

 Acts 11: 25Then Barnabas went to Tarsus to look for Saul, 26and when he found him, he brought him to Antioch. So for a whole year Barnabas and Saul met with the church and taught great numbers of people.
You can imagine how many Christians really wanted to trust Paul (formerly Saul)

It was a sharp disagreement. 

When someone raises their voice, some might view this as fighting and others simply as just the ‘entry into the debate’.  There is no mention that Barnabus or Paul had sinned in this situation.  However, it is clear that it most likely was a heated exchange and no doubt there was tension in the room where they had their discussion.

If I could quote Rodney Cooper again he states,   as Christians we have come to believe that anger is sinful and as such we suffer from over controlled hostility. There is an appropriate anger, which is not an explosive anger.

There is a couple of sayings out there that sound biblical, but they are not:

If you can’t say something nice about someone, you should not say anything at all or can’t we just get along?  
   
They are simply conflict avoiders and they really don’t serve us any good in the end.  Conflict is not a sign of disloyalty because if it is done well, it can build even a stronger trust and respect for one another.

•             The art of listening

When we agree to disagree, we must first be willing to listen to each other’s point of view.

•             The art of humility

It is the realization that I may be wrong.

While serving as a youth pastor in a previous church, I had a youth leadership team that were always looking for new ways to reach out to the youth in the community.  We had some great "extreme sport" youthleaders!

I had a strong disagreement with some people in the church over the amount of black marks on the gym walls created by the skateboards. They were of the firm belief that this was lack of respect for the church building.  I also had people who saw youth wearing hats in a church service as again a lack of respect for God.  I was of the mindset that I was just excited to see them in a church service and I believed that God could overlook their hats and if that was a real concern to God, He could convict them of that.

I have also had disagreements with others about people and their potential

As a student, I had disagreements about eschatology… the study of end times.

2.            We end conflict well when we confess our sin

James 5:16  Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

Again, let’s affirm that not all conflict is sin; however when in conflict there is certainly the potential for sin and when we have crossed the line from a place of passion in our viewpoint to one that displays one of the following qualities, there is a need for confession with those around us.

In our human weakness we can either result to brute force, go for the knockout punch, or grace.  We need to sort out your own situation after conflict.  We should not let unresolved conflict fester indefinitely.  We need to admit (acknowledge) where we are at.  Here are a few potential sins in conflict.

•             defensiveness -   It is human nature to defend ourselves to the point of not admitting our mistakes.   SIN   It is defined as constantly protecting oneself from criticism, exposure of one's shortcomings, or other real or perceived threats to the ego.

•             intimidation – It is the use of a forceful nature to belittle someone else’s point of view.  SIN  It is filling someone else with fear as a result of our threats or ‘browbeating’

•             ignorance – Ignorance is a sin when we continue to live in it after being made aware of the truth. 
It is part of the futility of thinking in Ephesians 4:18They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their

We need to come back and confess our sin when we have fallen short.

  
3.            We end conflict well when our perspective has changed

•             perspective on truth

When someone graciously shows us a new way to understand the Word of God, it takes humility.
A case in point is this very message.  My original title was how to redeem conflict that has gone bad and my original thought was that Paul had sinned in this situation and had judged John Mark prematurely.  However, it was Bryan who pointed out to me that there is no indication that any sin took place in

•             perspective on an individual

2 Timothy 4:11 Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry.
Colossians 4:10My fellow prisoner Aristarchus sends you his greetings, as does Mark, the cousin of Barnabas. (You have received instructions about him; if he comes to you, welcome him.

Clearly something had taken place over time that had enabled Paul to gain a different perspective on John Mark.
In time, God had enabled him to look at John Mark differently.

In God’s family, we should never get to the place where we “write someone off”!

•             perspective on a situation

Two very different perspectives on the same situation:

Psalm 137:1By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down, yes, we wept, when we remembered Zion. 2We hanged our harps on the willows in the middle thereof. 3For there they that carried us away captive required of us a song; and they that wasted us required of us mirth, saying, Sing us one of the songs of Zion

Ezekiel 1:1 In my thirtieth year, in the fourth month on the fifth day, while I was among the exiles by the Kebar River, the heavens were opened and I saw visions of God.


 Words play a key role in almost every conflict. When used properly, words promote understanding and encourage agreement. When misused, they usually aggravate conflicts and drive people further apart. If your words seem to do more harm than good when you try to resolve a disagreement, don’t give up. With God’s help you can improve your ability to communicate constructively.

Conflict can truly be our ally when it allows us to:
  • exposes problems and where we may have blindspots.
  • build relational capital - if you go through a conflict with someone, you feel like you can go through anything!
  • provides clarity.  We really can get to the depth of what we are really feeling and communicate it.

As we seek to resolve conflict, may we learn the principles that we can agree to disagree and still show love to one another.  God doesn’t call us to uniformity but unity.  There is rich diversity in the body of Christ and we need to understand and appreciate that as we see from all the different parts of the body in 1 Corinthians 12….some parts of the body may have stronger preference.
May we learn to graciously confess our sin when it has become an offence to another and may we gain a new perspective every day on the undeserved grace and favor that God has shown us  in that He does not treat us as our sins deserve  

Psalm 103:10  MSG

God is sheer mercy and grace;
    not easily angered, he’s rich in love.
He doesn’t endlessly nag and scold,
    nor hold grudges forever.
He doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve,
    nor pay us back in full for our wrongs.
As high as heaven is over the earth,
    so strong is his love to those who fear him.
And as far as sunrise is from sunset,
    he has separated us from our sins.

Thanks to the sacrifice of His Son and the shed blood of His forgiveness, God has a new perspective on US. 
Ephesians 2:1-5 MSG   It wasn't so long ago that you were mired in that old stagnant life of sin. You let the world, which doesn't know the first thing about living, tell you how to live. You filled your lungs with polluted unbelief, and then exhaled disobedience. We all did it, all of us doing what we felt like doing, when we felt like doing it, all of us in the same boat. It's a wonder God didn't lose his temper and do away with the whole lot of us. Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, he embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ